wherever you go, there you are

i woke up before dawn to hit the trail before work. the trailhead was on the other side of the park. a lone coyote crossed my path and went on its way. while the sun hid behind the magnificent rock, this landscape was still his own, atleast until the rest of the tourists awoke. the trail was dusty and littered with rounds of smooth granite. darkness slowly lifted, the air was still. glowing views of rising sunlit rock - spectacular. not a sole there - a few hours straight and a few thousand feet of elevation later, i met the peak. sparsely vegetated with coniferous forest. the sun was just rising above half-dome.


Confronting height fears, i looked down - heart racing - fully realizing my own mortality. a moment of complete and profound self-awareness. fears, thoughts and emotions were reflected in the pool of water rushing over the edge. i saw friends' smiles, family's support, crazy dog's high-pitches whine - i recognized mentorship found, opportunity for growth and knowledge; i felt my own love, trust and loyalty - in that moment there was no need to share. i felt solitude and peace with each chest-filling breath of inner reflection.

3,000 miles from the place i live, from the house i own, from the bed i sleep in and the job that provides food, shelter and independence. 3,000 miles away from friends and family, 7,000 feet above sea level. the world was silent, the air light and mind at ease; this is where i discovered home.

The discovery was accompanied by a rush of warm thoughts; everyone and everything that i know and love. everything that makes me whole. It was all inside. Carried with me all the way up to the top and thus wherever i go. It is with this strength that i ventured on, down the cliff of the falls. Every so often I'd stop and gaze over the sharp edge. The world was still asleep. The coyote, retreating to his den. The view - still spectacular. Realized freedom in knowing home, is wherever i am - at that particular time; with this confidence and self-awareness, i'll never need to rebuild. Material or not though, I still miss the view. Soon enough, i'll be back.