those random purple traps in the woods

Everyone keeps asking... and here is the answer - they are tracking ash borer with those random purple hanging contraptions in the woods... read more here.

stoopid 50

Finally pictures are up! What a beautiful day to be out riding a mtn bike. I spent the day exploring new trails via foot - capturing as much as i could of the race amidst the blooming mountain laurel. wish i had more of the lead group! unfortunately i never managed to catch up with them all day! enjoy and feel free to share the link with anyone interested in pictures!

half a double please

i'm not sure if i'm truly crazy yet or not... but this is tomorrow's plan. leaving at 530am with the double century crew - cutting off at jersey shore (not quite the beach u may think it is)...and doubling back for a cool 120 some miles. yikes!

considering the last serious ride i did on my road bike was 100 windy ones with a friend - a month ago... i'm not sure how the legs, butt and lungs will fair. the cross has been getting all of the love as of late...

i guess i always have my phone to call someone to pick my sorry ass up if i can't hang. tomorrow could be ugly... but at the least i've got to try.

complicated

this bike has been good to me. when i'm down, sore, tired, hungover, upset... especially upset... or just in a general rut - it's been there to lift me up, and take me away to the woods... where i can spin away my doubts, fears and concerns and focus on the rocky road ahead. the rocky climbs are so good - the heart rate elevates and the immediate focus is simply "up", past over looks, dodging kamikazi squirrels and chippies, gazing at forest birds... and then comes the burn... the burn is oddly enough - welcome. it signifies a perfect climb.

just up.
when things are good, sometimes i wonder if it's real. if it's real and that good then surely it has to end - at some point. the second guessing can be endless. and slowly my mind becomes twisted in a web of "what if's" and over analysis of events past, words spoken.

it is sometimes harder to accept the good, anticipating an "inevitable" crash which at this rate would be self induced.

this web can only be cleared by a good ride and a good climb - or two - or three.
thank goodness for this bike.

like the muddy fire road debris caked on my frame, i've washed away the webs and cleared my mind. the path to ride is clear - straight ahead - up hill and down... riding right over the rocks, absorbing the impact and enjoying the burn. a little burn makes it real; u learn, grown and get stronger along the way.

follow your...

for many, life can be simplified via two main paths...
the path lead by the heart vs the path filled with goals, stepping stones and accomplishments which may (or may not) fulfill the heart along the way...

the former, is the riskier. for the heart does not always see ration. the latter yields ultimate rewards and tangible ends, yet lends itself to voids. which to chose and which to trust is a constant debate for many.

when the trail is foggy with many different turnoffs yet the end is clear, where do you walk? or ride? and how can you be sure you'll get there... wherever that is.

i guess we must accept that the future has yet to unfold.

"that's why i live here - i like naked people"

this is funny. (and cool) only in boulder. but come on guys and girls... not even a chamois?

psyched

my new project site. i'm stoked.

history

today i got an invitation to join the facebook group for the summer team pool that i used to swim at recreationally... this lifted my spirits and made my day... apparently my name is still on the "record board"... hah! this is (no lie) a direct quote from the group description... whoever thought me and "all time great" would possibly be used in the same sentence!!! i hardly live up to that standard but it's fun to see...

This group is for you if:
-you live for themed swim meets
- are soon going to be a diabetic from all the flavor-ice you eat
-you sometimes do the cheers when it is the middle of winter to cheer yourself up
-you know every single person at the pool
- sharks and minnows is your life (and get angry when people call it beaver)
- you have had every birthday party in the gazeboo since you were born and your friends look forward to it every summer (....maybe this is just me)
- you can chalk and stuff fences like a champ
-graduating the team is one of the saddest moments of your life
-when you are little, adult swim seems like an eternity
-you dont like friends who belong to country clubs
- you know, or have heard about the NWB all time greats: martin, becca, leah wasser, holly goo, david grooms, LUUUKKKEEEE
-ladies: you at some point in your life had a crush on a wooters boy.... dont lie, you have.
-you bleed blue and white and have more love for NWB then you middle school, highschool, college combined

all about the climb...

this weekend was an interesting one... aside from LOTS of riding in the woods on the cross and mtn bike... alone and with good friends - i caught up with some good genuine people.

i continually think to myself - regardless of work / relationship situations - how am i so fortunate to have so many consistently good friends and people in my life?

today tho, marked what could have been the worst ride ever... almost. the ride was out to colyer and around via double track / fire roads... i'd been wanting to ride this route for weeks and each time something came up that prevented it from happening. plans were set, bike was ready (or so i thought)... so i picked up cecilia around 830 to roll out to the forest...

we met up with kate and set off around 9. the ride was smooth at first.. up bear meadows... i started to zone off a bit as i often do with group rides. we hit treaster kettle and started the descent... i was feeling good and brave given the past 2 days of riding off road so i let go of the brakes and let my bike take me down the gravel laden road. dust in the air, cooling breeze, and lush green forest - such a release... towards the bottom, i felt my bike begin to fish tail... the grade had let up and the gravel was certainly not that deep - i knew something was wrong.

i came to a quick halt - rear wheel flat. great.

this was the first flat on this bike - ever. i like to ride at a lower tire pressure for shock absorption and i think today it caught up with me. i went to change the tube... out came the spare and my pump.

when i first got the bike i asked my friends - is a cross tire the same size as a road tire? they answered yes. i was really asking if the tubes were the same - but i didn't know any different...
now i do.

i pulled out the old tube, found the tiny puncture, inspected the tire and went to put in the new tube. quickly i realized the spare was significantly more narrow...

yes, welcome to reality - road tubes are different than cross.

it barely filled the inside of my rim and i thought there was no possible way that would get me either home - or further along on my ride.

at this point - given the week ive had... i was near meltdown. i'm normally am controlled enuf to maintain composure until i'm alone. not today. as i realized the ladies were going to have to ride back to pick me up. i lost it.

so there i was at the bottom of this fantastic climb... thinking about them climbing up and wishing i was riding. i was waiting, stuck with a limp bike and all of the thoughts of the week began to flood my mind...

i sat for a while, on a rock across the road staring at my upside down bike, sobbing and feeling sorry for myself. feeling like "what the hell did i do to have this sort of week"...

then i realized that i needed to take control of this situation and my life as feeling sorry would get me no where.

i put my wheel back on the bike and began to walk holding the back of the bike up so as not to damage the rim. up i went in my cleats, helmet clamped to my pack... and close to an hour later of walking... down came my little turbo subi.

if nothing else, my little walk certainly cleared my mind.

i decided this would not be the end of the ride - as the day was still young and stopped by the only shop open on a sunday am to pick up some proper tubes. we set off yet again to ride in the woods... and had a nice ride trying and riding through some other spots where i normally bail.

long story short... well long at this point... i was told at the shop that i probably could have made the road tube work in that particular "emergency" situation... is this true??

but... in the end it worked out and i got some riding in even though it wasn't quite the intensity i initially sought. and in the end, the day ended up being great as post ride, jess and i got the chocolate dogs together to swim and caught up some along the way...

feeling sorry for myself was getting me no where. feeling sorry for myself was blinding me to all of the good that i have in my life. feeling sorry for myself wasn't allowing me to consider the situation - and make the best of it - make it work.

i think it's time to stop feeling sorry, and wondering... and wishing... to take control, relax and try to figure out whats best. then move forward. there are many more rides ahead... and the reality is that life's just too short to be stuck at the bottom of a hill, wondering "why". when all you really want to do is continue to climb.

air dog pII

yes, been there done that - but i'm continually amused by my little furry friend...
u would be too - enjoy!

up hill

there is a hill on one trail that i've ridden half way up and unclipped for about a year. yesterday i decided it was time to make it up. after a few tries i picked the right line and made it to the top.

it felt damn good.

glass

i walk barefoot on a glass lined trail.
terrified it may shatter under my weight.
deep wounds may scar leaving me unable to walk again
many turns yet my forward moving line is clear.

my confusion - where / whether to turn and what pace to make - rooted in his.
his confusion - rooted in his.

then i feel the heavy callouses.
and understand i can still move forward.
why then am i so scared?

granite

A friend gave me this quote today.

"The block of granite which was an obstacle in the pathway of the weak becomes a stepping-stone in the pathway of the strong"

cheesy, but also there is truth there. the block for me is deep inside and turning it into a stepping stone will require some heavy lifting.

why do we often alienate ones closest to us? and if we know we're doing it, then why the hell can't we just figure out the root which often runs deep, and gain a new understanding of ourselves?

i don't understand.

release

Trails are sometimes the best place to regain sense of mind... so much fun to be had by pups in muddle puddles. if only life were this simple for us humans. we think too damn much to enjoy the finer details and the little things... i had the best company tonight...although greta doesn't like to have her picture taken... i guess i need to be more stealth.

Mountain laurel are just about to open... how beautiful and graceful.

Native honeysuckle is on the way out...

dogs will be dogs...

what a face...


wonder dog! man was my focus off today...

the power line... soon to be full of blooming laurel.
i am so lucky to have such an amazing group of supportive and positive friends.

time and healing

post-relationship healing is a funny animal.
gaining certainties from the other party allows the healing process to begin. if the certainty is inability to commit, then you know that nothing you do can possibly change things - regardless of how much love is involved in either direction. the mind is a powerful control. only time will allow thoughts to sort and things to take their course. together can't be forced. while you can accept and move on, there is a tiny voice of hope in your minds eye that sees potential for a future - down the road. but... there is potential disappointment associated with those thoughts and so you try to be deaf to unspoken words.

you know healing has begun when your insides are weighted... your heart sinks deep into your chest and you can feel each and ever breath - 100% aware of everything that your body is doing to keep you afloat at that particular moment. your stomach too is similarly weighted; as hungry as your mind says you are, it refuses to accept nourishment beyond basic minimal subsistence.

while this may not seem to be healing - or healthy for that matter - it is because it's beyond the stage of unbearable tears and thoughts... not knowing... wondering and wishing... trying to figure out how to pass each and every moment of time. it's the stage where you finally acknowledge, accept and know that the best thing you can do is take care of yourself and try to regroup and rebuild. deeply saddened by reality, but you accept and understand what's best.

the recent past seems like a foggy haze. did it really happen? was i really there? was yesterday really our last time together? the future is so open and unknown... do i stay? leave? move on not only emotionally but physically relocating as well?

fighting the desire to make rash decisions... only time will tell.

old days...

tipsy on a work night...
this feels like my last summer single self... except 2nite i caught up with good friends along the way...
bed calls. after all there's a full day's work ahead...

new life and the weekend via image

sergio francesco drayton came into the world today at 4:50 pm. 2 amazing people have brought a beautiful little boy into this world together!!! congrats brit and jordyn!!!
and now -the weekend via image...

Iris & clematis in full bloom.

crazy swimming dogs representing the full color spectrum.

bearded iris & allium

iris & columbine.

iris are in full bloom... and so is my crazy dog.

crazy hose jetstream loving labrador.

fuschia (one of the coolest flowers) and clematis.

'one with nature'

this essay was recently passed onto me.
what truly defines sustainability and how far does one have to go to achieve it at any level?
is living with snakes, skunks and bats the answer to reducing the size and scope of our ecological footprint??

i don't mind listening to skunks outside my tent in the woods at night but i'm not sure i'd deal with them perusing my home in the evening...