unsettled settled

summer has flown by... filled with travel and exploration... but dominated by work. i feel drained and detached and secluded from the false warmth of the bubbles in which i once resided.

the driving force for pushing so hard has been hazy and undefined. i knew the force was there but wasn't quite sure what was fueling it. recently i was looking through pictures of travels in the past year or two, realizing the joy and freedom felt on the road. a certain tension built in these moments as i compared the somewhat settled and rooted bubble i'm planted in now with the free and floating path enjoyed on the road.

I've been working for years to feel settled, to grow up, to follow the path that the world around me suggests is best... only to realize that i crave just the opposite. only to realize that these physical walls around me, and the comfort of my home are falsely secure.

and so... i push on, to finish what i started. and along the way i simplify... and then i float wherever the world calls me, that's where i'll go next. it can't come soon enough...

life on the road


It's week 5 of being "on the road" - away from home and friends and all that's familiar. the trip to date has been filled with views, vistas, adventure and experiences that i would never have traveling by other means and with others. in the past month i've dipped my toes in the ocean on both sides of the continent and at varying latitudes both in and out of the country. i've hiked, scrambled and strolled up to amazing peaks bearing far reaching vistas, following rocky cairns along slabby granite trails and passing through wildflower meadows, dense forests and clear streams. i've seen waterfalls and ocean waves and tidal flats and dense forests...even immersed myself in the noise of urban landscapes, plus so much more. And considering that, there's still more to come.

Acadia National Park

Canada...

Above: Bay of Fundy, Right: Cape Split
it's been an amazing experience so far in that i've seen and done so much. on one hand, traveling alone is empowering. the freedom to go where you want, when you want and the prospects of seeing so much enthralls and stimulates. traveling alone reinforces the confidence fueled by true independence. it is liberating. And there is a certain rush associated with reaching each new place and space. however, traveling solo is not without its down moments. there are times when i completely forget about the world and am immersed in amazing moments engulfed by a breathtaking landscape. And in those same moments, at times, these feelings of solitary hollowness emerge - where the realization that no one really knows where you are and being without company, no one can really understand the power of that particular experience. so the experience is filed in a little compartment that feeds your ever expanding self to be remembered and absorbed and perhaps shared with others later one via word and image. still it's not the same as sharing that moment.and no one really knows... or understands.

ABOVE: Bay of Fundy
there are other times when you become exceedingly self-aware in a moment of discomfort when things aren't feeling quite right. this could be interactions with others - strange and uncertain, or traversing delicate or precarious landscapes. it is in these moments, exacerbated by being female in the company of strange men, that your own vulnerability and mortality smacks you in the face and you are as alert and on edge as you can possibly be. however, as uncomfortable as these adrenaline filled moments are, i'm not sure i'd trade them in for a less engaging and more conservative experience.



Left: Scotts Bay; Right: Duncans Cove / Chebucto Head
i've certainly learned a lot on this trip. both professionally working with and processing my data - day and night, and personally just me and my pup, traveling here and there without a solid plan, living out of my car, eating cold food, wondering where i may wake up next. it's been exciting. this may be all the data processing talking but admittedly i'm feeling a bit tired. i can't remember a night's sleep of greater than 5 or so hours and I'm thinking more and more about friendly, familiar and caring faces, hugs and laughs, and all that is associated with the familiar. funny enough i don't miss the physical space i call home, just the interactions with the few who i care about. I'll get there though - i think during week 6 as there is much more left to see and do...

TBC...

Last Days - The PCT


Every time i travel west, i try to hit another section of the PCT. The stretch near sisters was lovely.

The snow pack was impressive! The trail disappeared under feet and feet of snow for many stretches.

This guy was dangling from a tree mid trail.

A really cool fungus! Left: with as much snow as there was, it was in the 60's making for a comfortable stroll.


Left: This moss was growing on a lot of the trees. It was uncertain whether it had something to do with mortality or if it was an opportunist growing after the tree died. Right: tons of siskins and warblers filled the forest!!

Yet another incredible snowy peak...

Further down the highway, this waterfall was gushing with clear spring melt.

The volume of water was impressive.




no need for words...

Forest fire... and then one last climb before hitting the road back to portland...

Left: Glimpses of Mt Hood along the way...
Right: And back to PA i went... to unpack and repack for the road trip to Nova Scotia... TBC...

Snow Packs and the desert


The cool thing about impromptu road trips is you can go (and stop) wherever you want, whenever you want. Crater Lake National Park is an amazing spot not to be missed if you're in the area.

The temperature dropped considerably coming from the cool, cloudy coast to the high elevation park. It's only early spring here and the snow packs are still monumental to the east coast eye.

There were light flurries when we fell asleep, however the warm morning sun quickly erased any traces of snow... as we approached the park, the amount of snow increased...

and then increase some more...

and a little bit more...

yea, just a bit of snow here...


Lots of cool birds including my favorite - Pine Siskins!

Crater Lake sits is housed in/on a volcano... the views are breath taking.


it's hard to not be touristy in such an incredible place.

And then we moved onward north to seek warmth...leaving snowy dreams behind and entering a climbing haven...

Some call smith rocks the birth place of modern sport climbing. It offers intense climbing and is intensely beautiful.


Climbing aside, there are miles and miles of sandy trails here. People ride bikes, walk dogs and run...


Every view at smith is lovely... and as you leave, you are presented with awesome views of the sisters (below).

And if this wasn't enough... there's still more!!!