last day

i can't believe it's my last day in this town for a while.
misha and i caught up today for a sushi lunch at jade garden. she was the last of my friends that i really wanted to see before i left. the past week has been a blur. trying to prepare for this trip and the associated class work (Reading!!), packing, arranging for chaya, the fish, the plants to be taken care of... trying to visit with everyone that i'll miss...i'm managed to fit everyone in - in between reading, packing, planning.

my mind is flooded. a surprise visit on sunday bringing home made cookies and soy milk from 3 hours away totally caught me off guard. amazing. no one's ever taken that kind of effort to surprise me before. what does that mean?

i'm nervous - anticipating this journey that i suspect will be life changing. i'm nervous anticipating coming home to something new that i also suspect will be life changing.
i'm gonna miss my little furry girl - curled up beside my bed each night - waking me up in the am. i'm going to miss the comfort of my supportive friends being surrounded by 19 others who i don't know...

it will be quite the journey... but i think i'm ready.
this may be my last post for a while... until then...
be well my friends.

jump

This past week has been marked by a plethora of varying emotions and actions...

anger
joy
pride
annoyance
happiness
dancing
laughter
anticipation...

so many emotions in such a short period of time. it's almost good that i'm hitting the high skies in just a few days to absorb and reflect upon it all.

Thursday night we hit zenos to see chris byrne rock the house. music was fun - dancing was even more fun - special thanks to my awesome dancing compadre ofcourse! as was being surrounded by truly good, special people.

eric graduated this week! yay for him! his graduation ceremony was not so exciting, but seeing him accept his degree certainly was. i was proud!!! we celebrated all day starting with a little fiesta at freeze thaw, moving on into the evening to Zenos (of course!)... cyclists were out in full force and it was so much fun.

i've spent the past week trying to not only prepare for this trip, but also spend as much time with friends who i won't see for 3 weeks! i'm going miss everyone. This past week has made me realize how lucky i really am to have so many different, special people in my life. different people from different circles who can appreciate different things and have different common interests.

and, in recent news, i'm contemplating jumping...
jumping entails letting go of past baggage, pain, struggle, etc and allowing yourself to open up to something new in your life. it's been a few years now. i've blocked enough people out. i think it's time.

it's a scary thing. and of course, no decisions need to be made now as it's way too fresh and there's no need for pressure. as new as it is, it makes me happy. so why not live in the moment and not worry so much about what the future might bring?

if there's one thing that i've learned in life - i can jump and fall but i'm pretty adept at picking myself up and getting back on my feet. if u don't jump, you'll never know what you might be missing and you'll end up continually searching for something that you won't allow yourself to find.

creep(y)

Sometimes people, particularly guys, fall into a creep rut... fueled by alcohol they slowly drown. Sometimes a chicas only defense is blunt honesty - afterall they need to know that they're encroaching upon creep territory.

The other weekend i went out with some friends. After a stop at a downer party, luna dropped nic and i off at my house and we decided to check out Zenos.

inside the bar, we found a nice group hanging out, dancing, etc... familiar faces, it was all good.
i was in a particularly good mood and was thus talking to everyone. within a few minutes we were introduced to a guy, wearing a cowboys hat - ewwww dallas - i can not put into words how much i dislike that team.

he opened his mouth and had nothing of interest to say... so i zoned him out. but when pressed for conversation, i told him i disliked the cowboys. he decided to insult me in return. it was a special moment.

whatever dude. i zoned him out again.

an hour or so passed... intoxications levels rose, yet i was in a totally sober zone of talking, dancing and just having fun being out.

at the height of my perfect zone... said cowboys fan walks over undoubtedly fueled by liquid courage, faces me (i'm facing the band) makes direct eye contact and asks me to dance.

i say no thanks.

he asks again.
i say no again.

he asks again.
i tell him to ask nic.

i figured nic would take on the wingwoman role, have my back and say she had a boyfriend - sending him on his way. instead she told him she was taken and I WAS SINGLE.

OH SHIT. to a drunk single guy - many anyway - a single lady is kinda like a bloody carcus to a 5 gilled shark... ok so maybe that's a slight exaggeration but... his eyes got real wide...

a guy who's

1. possibly lonely or confused
2. on the prowl
3. inspired by liquid courage aka BEER

is apt to pounce. he resumed eye contact with me.

crap.

so now, not only was he on a mission to pick me up (he was hardly subtle), but also he still wanted to dance. i didn't want to dance with him for multiple reasons including but not limited to:

1. he was incredibly boring
2. i was enjoying my girls night out
3. i knew he was a horrible dancer and what fun is that?
4. he was a cowboys fan
5. he was way, way WAY too pushy.
6. general sucking (he sucked, not on a lollipop or something).

so on and on he goes on why i should dance with him.

"is it so wrong to want to dance with a beautiful girl?"
a half-assed complement... and it went so well with the earlier spewed insults and the dallas hat... heh. this dude doesn't know a damn thing about me and still is persistant...i responded "thanks, but i still don't want to dance with you"

"if we'd hang out, you would have so much fun with me" he says.

woah buddy - so now we're hanging out too? he has now crossed into seriously creepy territory.

"i'm not a creepy guy, you'd like me. i'd treat you really well"

within a matter of minutes we had gone from nfl rivals, to dancing partners to relationship status... apparently now we're contemplating dating.
consider these rules of engagement:

1. girls don't dig pushy guys with an air of desperation. desperate = lack of confidence= potentially needy. confidence is a must!
2. just because a girl is single, doesn't mean that she wants to dance, hang out with, be with any single guy she meets. being single isn't an inherent invitation to be picked up with persistence! we ladies believe in natural selection too.
3. if a girl says no thanks, respect that dammit and give her some space. there's nothing more unattractive than a guy who doesn't back off when asked.

so back to the story at hand, dallas man has hit a new low. and he's now directly standing in front of me, encroaching upon my personal bubble, staring at me, waiting for me to dance with him. i'm annoyed as i can't really dance without him thinking i'm dancing with him. He's also blocking my view of the singer in the band - who's decidedly hot.

i decided honesty was the best policy at this point.

"i'm not that creepy guy" he said "i'm a good guy" this was a point of
contention between the two of us. while he may not be a creepy guy in the light
of day, sans alcohol, at this moment in his life - he was the epitome of creepy.
"oh, you totally are that creepy guy." i replied - staring directly into his
eyes.

"how am i creepy?" did he really not know??

"well, you're standing in front of me, staring at me with beady wide eyes, asking me to dance. and when i tell you no, you don't go away. This behavior defines creepiness".

he was stunned... he stood in front of me like a deer in headlights, speachless. he shook my hand and moved on to another set of girls standing in another corner of the bar. and it only took 20 minutes to get this point across! sorry to be rude dallas stalker, but i had to do it and ps TO is too full of himself to consistently play well.

phew...

persistence doesn't always pay off. and in fact, in some instances, it equates to creepiness... proceed with caution!

a girl can dream

http://serotta.com/cda_cx/index.html
forget the wheels - that's kinda silly.

chill p ii - why everyone should love snow.

Forestry lot. such sweet rides!

up camp road

ridge trail - a deer in the distance

icy encassed bark...

my dog is ridiculous. check out her stylin' booties. she is also attached to jess - velcro dog!

young pines...

treaster kettle from the ridge...


ridge ridge ridge!!! and then down kettle...

bear meadows road.

chill

the wind is howling.
the day began a cool snowy morning and ended with a windy chill.

the trails in rothrock were calling. there's nothing more beautiful than untouched snow covering a single track forest trail. ice covered white pines, and snow covered hemlocks. in the distance, a cloudy, snow screened blur of adjacent ridge tops and trails.

the calm was soothing.. on the ridge, intense winds brought crackling icy showers - a bit unnerving. as were the bear tracks...

but in the end,
there's nothing more satisfying than a snowy hike with good company. the woods - is just where i love to be.
chill.
pictures to come...

hoy

necesito practicar el mia espanol. entonces, hoy voy a escribir en español. no se come escribir todos lose letras españoles... necesito ayuda. tambien, no recuerdo muchas palabras o como escribir un accento. si sabes, quiero aprendar! es todo por ahora.

ode to the hp 5500

dear (used to be) trusty laser printer,

please stop sending me emails. I know all about your fuser kit issues and really don't give a damn.

in fact, i'm sick and tired of all of your crap. lately you've been moody, irritable and completely irrational.

seriously. we may replace, recycle, throw u out the window you if you don't cut it out. watch office space if you are unsure of what i'm getting at...

sincerely,
chaya de cacao
:)

lock picker

in the spirit of always following a negative blog posting with something positive, tonight, i'll share the story of how i locked myself out of my bathroom last night.

i had canine company. luna and ruk joined me with t-bone in toe to watch the steelers-pats game. tecalli is a known trouble maker, so i decided to limit his trouble making options by closing the doors upstairs. smart move in theory, but it does help to be able to regain access to said rooms after the doors have been shut.

while closing the bathroom door, i inadvertantly locked the door and then shut it. when ruk and greg left, i went to open up the upstairs rooms and found the bathroom door to be locked shut.

damn.

time to the pick the lock.

i'm an inexperienced lock-picker however 1 paper clip was all it took. Within a few minutes i had the door open.

lesson learned - one paper clip can take you a long way.

funk

i've been in a funk as of late...

something about the time of year. short cool days. 8 hours or work only to return to darkness.

group rides made impossible. solo rides as well except for tolerable weekend days.
while the cold snow brings a certain familiar comfort.

sitting inside, sipping hot tea and honey. reading. going to the gym. long snowy hikes on the ridge.

it brings with it a certain emptiness. remembering times spent inside with someone - who understood. there was at one point, one person, years ago, who for a brief time understood. while i never look back and regret, I continually wonder if i'll ever find that again.

friends grow and change around me. they have, one by one, gotten married. or at least found that one... they are now caring for little ones, or expecting little ones. understandable, they have less time for their friends. they slowly drift away. everything changes.

my struggles, victories, hurdles to cross feel so different from theirs. and given they are the only ones who are close, its as if my struggles are alien to the world.

with professional goals so straight and clear, personal goals are a cloud of grey as i detach further from everyone around me in frustration - assuming at some point they too will drift away or disappoint. and i just wonder if i'll ever meet that person who will, in short, get and appreciate me and fill that void that has been there for the past few years.

don't need much
just a real connection
with someone.
not sure tho that it's out there.

in the meantime, i'll keep truckin away like i do best. following goals and dreams.
the ball keeps rolling. generating momentum and force.
and won't stop till a hurdle substantial enough to divert its movement, crosses its path at the opportune time. then maybe things will slow down...

headin' south

i'm going south my friends... way down south.
cacoa trees and scarlet macaws... here i come!!!!

woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

surround sound

given the cold weather i've been focused on interiour projects. the garage workshop is finally complete and now i'm contemplating setting up surround sound in my living room with a set of speakers that broadcast music into other rooms in the house...

surround sound football and music throughout!

i went to a audio/video place in town to talk about reciever options.

here is what i want to setup.

1 reciever with surround sound and the ability to add one more room in stereo. the ability to hook up my computer into the setup to play all of my digital music through my fav music player.

they suggested that my only option was either stereo in both rooms or surround sound in one. with an additional stereo reciever setup to the first reciever then connected to a speaker selector.

im just not convinced i need an addition setup for 2 measly stereo speakers in another room. they also told me wireless speakers weren't try home audio... however i'm also not convinced that wireless is completely useless! cant a girl have surround sound and one room of stereo with just one reciever?

future

based upon both previous and recent experiences... this could be my future husband... or not. i seem to be a magnet for older... OLDER men.

awesome.

if you have ever watched sex and the city. then you remember the episode when samantha dates the old, but very wealthy, dude that was an acquaintance of good old donald (trump). at the end of the episode she decides that old moves ... were not so bad... but old ass... well that's a whole different picture; a picture which she was not willing to frame or even hang on the wall. let's just keep that one in the closet...you'd have to see it (the episode) to appreciate it to its fullest. it's not that i have no appreciation for those older than me... it's just that i can't imagine ever dating someone who is likely to be older than my very own father! and that furthermore, these invitations seem to come at the most appropriate time from the most inappropriate people!

speaking of chickens...here are a few pieces of interest that i found the other day... enjoy:
robots and relationships

dino mummy (actually very cool piece about a mummified dinosaur discovered in part via LiDAR.. my topic of research interest!!!

if you use facebook... read this!

i always figured facebook was tracking users. i knew that a lot of the applications that you install in facebook have clauses that stipulate that they will harvest information about you and your habits from the site.. if you use facebook - you should READ THIS.

they have a tracker that you can block - i'm sure myspace has something similar...
more to come.

luna and his elves...

well i was going devote today to some commentary regarding the pats game last night... and how they almost got spanked by the ravens (who, by the way bite ass)..

but instead, i'll entertain you with this.
apparently brett has joined up with luna and the bus in a special elves song. enjoy

here's another one for the pack.

who's your daddy?

i can't help but notice the similarity each time i see him play...
deshea -- q-tip - deshea - q-tip...
hmmmm

drool

Yesterday was a day of cookies. many, many cookies. It started with a dog walk... We took chaya and aidia out to explore the race loop in big hollow (which i'm now convinced i can ride)... then we baked cookies.

the dogs begged as only dogs can. however my dog set a new and unprecedented record for longest strand of contiguous drool...

it happened in the dining room. we were sitting and filling cookies with chocolate...
chaya was standing in between us staring - and drooling.

it started as a small strand but slowly elongated... to the point that it was 6" plus long - maybe longer. it was clear and free of bubbles... drool perfection.

if only i had a camera to document the event. it was priceless.

and then there was glass...

In celebration of my recently achieved candidacy status, i took the day off to drive up to corning, NY with my good friend Pamela (with child) to check out the Corning Glass Museum and in particular, the Botanical Wonder exhibit highlighting the incredible, intricate and botanically accurate work of Leopold Blaschka and his son.

Picture above - a super cool hands on exhibit about glass and optical allusion.


If you haven't seen or read about it - it's worth your time. Here is an overview.
Their work started with deep sea inverts...


Until one botanist realized the potential application of intricate glass work to the growing field of botany.



spectacular.



In short, if you don't feel like reading about it - they made flowers, and invertebrates, and modeled what diseased forms looked like. The challenges involved with studying real organic material are great as keeping it in tact in its true form and color is nearly impossible. Glass provided and excellent way to examine, understand and study organic forms as they would be found in nature.



Other exhibits at the exam included pieces by chihuly and others... and hands on exhibits demonstrating the many uses of and evolution of various properties of glass...


I found this one a bit disturbing - perhaps a grim commentary on suburbia.



towards the end of the day we signed up for a workshop. i made a flower and a new friend as one of the guys working the workshop was our age (not pictured)...


Take careful note of my awesome outfit.



my flower came out beautiful! it's on my kitchen ledge... a reminder of an amazing day with a great friend.

abuse and the hunt

here is something i just can't begin to comprehend...
it's called - animal cruelty... and it happens all of the time. and it's been particularly of interest lately given the vick case - michael vick fighting ring. but here is a headline from today:

3 dogs found skinned and mutilated

i can't begin to comprehend how people can torture animals. i can't begin to comprehend how anyone can feel good about taking the life of another creature - ever - in any circumstances short of being stuck on a deserted island with no other source of food... when it is completely unnecessary. it just makes my heart sink every time i read such a story.

what kind of sick, twisted people do these things?

sad

yea so he didn't have a squeaky clean record - sad none the less.

rekindled.

given the past holiday, this week has been all about the family.

a few of my cousins are in very different relationship gradients. the one, has in recent months rekindled and old flame and was glowing with happiness. u could tell the moment she walked in the door. it was nice to see. the other - is dealing with the aftermath of a long-term on and off again relationship which has just ended - perhaps for good. not so nice as she was visibly upset.

i felt her sadness.

i only met him a few times. he didn't seem right to me. She is a brilliant, tallented young girl with an amazing job, drive and so much to offer; i didn't see him in the same light. however i didn't know him well and they were very much in love so who am i to judge.

regardless, it's over now and probably for good this time. she is undoubtably dealing with being "alone" in life. this is a difficult transition to make.

it makes me wonder... it seems like many single people derive a large amount of confidence and happiness from being in a relationship. but in different ways.

for some, happiness is derived from the potential to help, "be there", change an individual that is in a "not so great place" but has "great potential". i guess the one gets the help and support they need and the other gets to feel "needed". for others, it's derived from someone who's willing to work at and take care of said person and the related sense of security and comfort which this brings. i would imagine that there are others yet who find happiness in equally reciprocating relationships where both parties are "there for" and "completely supportive of" each other. this would require 2 equally strong individuals with similar needs and goals - does this exist?

the third latters seems to be much more elusive and what everyone, in theory seeks.

in the end i wonder if most people are aware of what they look for in another person - or what they want. or more importantly, what truly makes them happy. in my head i'm certain that i've finally figured it out - although it's taken a bunch of bad experiences mixed in with some good to get there.

now if i could only find it.

are ya ready for some...

football!!! ofcourse.

it's that time of the year... exams behind. i can actually enjoy the games without feeling guilty... when it's cold / dark / etc outside i don't mind as much being locked inside.

last weekend i met jess and misha at champs to watch the game. we got there before the 4pm steeler kickoff but the packers and colts were playing. i've never experienced media overload to this extent before. so many screens, so many games - some hi def even.

the steelers were nothing less than dissappointing... seems like they have perpetuated a pattern of losing games that they should have in the bag - especially outside of heinz field. the packers on the other hand are on a roll... and there's nothing more satisfying than watching favre's team come close to his caliber. they even rocked the turkey day game yesterday. nice...

hacked

the most perfect time to have your server hacked is:

1. when your backup server is down
2. when you're just about to approach a holiday
3. when it's late in the day and you're just ready to go home.

all of my wishes came true today. we were hacked - and notified of our said hack by the lovely men and women of the psu security quad - via email.

the hackers installed ftp software on our server in an attempt to setup their very own warez site.

awesome.

we had known this was coming however we had another fish to fry... i have, been in the midst of trying to repair a down powervault that stores gigs and gigs worth of data that supports our applications. while i finally was able to order the correct part that got the thing online - our data is still questionable and thus switching the apps from the hacked server to the backups wasn't an option.

so, we decided to switch the home pages to another server and place "site temporarily down" messages on each home page. i guess it's better than a blank "page not found" screen - but this process will take time as it requires yet another division of the psu IT department to reroute (change the dns settings) of all of our urls... all the while i'm waiting for an email from our server admin saying "the data has been recovered from the powervault"... even though i'm fairly certain this won't happen...

grrrrr.... luckily i was in a good enough mood today to suck it up and just do what i could without getting stressed.

damn hackers tho - don't they have anything better to do?

beautiful

i'm back to my winter-time hibernation workout schedule.
this involves retreating indoors -- off of the bike - and to the gym. every year i have goals...this winter i have a totally new one - which is increased flexibility. i've been reading and reading about how it's virtually impossible to harness your true strength without being flexible. and i've always wished i could do a split, so i decided to dive in to a stretching routine on top of lifting and forced cardio. something to work towards always provides inspiration.

there are many, many familiar faces at the gym - and some new ones.
the same old guys to dodge (including banana peels who, in case you hadn't read about him, he still has a very special and not to be forgotten place in my dating history).

there are a few tho that i see regularly that i can definitely respect (perhaps, given previous experiences, this is because we haven't yet exchanged words). i think it's training all those years in the pool that made me appreciate to the fullest that perfect v shaped back, and associated vein lined forearms that only built traps, delts, lats and so on can build.

yes when you are trapped on a stationary machine for 30-50 minutes at a time the mind does tend to wander. it's all in good fun tho...

from the woodwork

they all came out last night.

it started as a celebration night. the candidacy exam fresh - yet done. it was cause for a night out on the town with no curfew and no worries.

e and i planned to meet up at zenos around 9. i got there first and there were no tables to be found however emily - another successful exam taker was celebrating her birthday! i hung out with them till e arrived and we managed to grab a table. he greeted me with a big hug - "i'm so happy for you". it felt good.

before i knew it - i realized a few cyclists were there. and then more people started coming in - anthro grads, eco grads, larch, cyclists... Our table soon became a slow rotation of all of my favorite people in state college. it started with nic, and then misha and her friend... they left in search of a larger table and in came mandy... then seth and dragana... as the night progressed, zenos was choc-full of fun people and i floated from table to table laughing and enjoying my new found freedom.

it was fun. it had been a while since i was able to actually enjoy a night out like that. and it was SO GOOD to see everyone out. i made my way home on the rockhopper around 2:30am. ready to drink lots of water and curl up in my warm comfy bed.

that, my friends, was a fun night. i hope there are more of those to come.

katrina

for those of you who haven't been following... the cnn headline for today. They originally promoted their flood control as having the potential of mitigating 5+ feet of water... oops - damn plus and minus signs - they always get me too:

But in a report released November 7, Corps scientists estimated that the actual benefit the system would provide would be just 6 inches.

The discrepancy was tucked into the voluminous report's appendices, and neither the Corps nor the scientists hired to conduct the study brought the changes to the public's attention when the report was released. It wasn't until New Orleans television station WWL-TV asked an engineer involved in the assessment about the discrepancy that it became known.

"We've made some corrections," the engineer, Ed Link, told The Associated Press on Friday night.

Link said the mistakes were apparently made in the calculations for two sub-basins that include Lakeview and nearby neighborhoods. In one, a minus sign was used instead of a plus sign.

Ivor van Heerden, a hurricane and levee expert with Louisiana State University, said the mistakes are the latest example of sloppiness and a lack of scientific peer review in Corps work.

"It's people's lives we're playing with and all we're getting is fuzzy science," van Heerden said.

Walter Baumy, a chief Corps engineer in New Orleans, said he was unfamiliar with the mistakes, but said, "I wouldn't contest what Dr. Link says."

the whole situation in new orleans is a sad one on many accounts. why can't they just recognize that the environmental (and social) issues there are larger than they have been and apparently are currently prepared to deal with??? and oh yea do this before more people die, lose their homes and all of their posessions...etc...

candidate

i woke up this am around 4:30, heart racing - heart pounding. today was the day. in exactly 4.5 hours i would be in the interrogation room. the committee 4 deep.

i imagined them in their 4 chairs all in a row. stairing at me. asking question after question.
how would i respond? would i freeze? would i screw up?
even worse - maybe what i thought i knew - was wrong.

after about an hour of tossing and turning i managed to sleep a little more. i knew rest was key the night before a big exam.

after the normal routine, i made my way into the lab. i figured being on campus early would soothe my nerves a bit.

at 20 of 9 i put in my headphones, cranked up some chill sean kingston and made my way over to my interrogation.

the room was on the second floor - a typical conference room. they all sat across from me and before i knew it the questioning began. it started with my research and background. then they have me draw various population growth curves and write out equations. i had done this a thousand times over in my head but had never factored in the intense nerve-induced shaking in my hands. talk about squiggly lines. i spelled out the equation as i wrote knowing my handwriting was close to illegible at that pount. they seemed satisfied and proceeded onto questions of growth models, island biogeography, competition, spatial data analysis / metrics, scale and project design issues.

most of the discussion surrounded my research and how various ecological principles and concepts would apply. there were a few questions i didn't know. there were some that were damn hard. and there were some that i was able to answer with much thought. before i knew it, i was asked to leave the room.

was that it?

that was it. shit. i hope i didn't really screw up. did i screw up?

i sat outside for what felt like hours - in reality was mere minutes. i reassured lawrence who was after me that he would be fine - told him to relax. and was soon called back into the room. i was sweating. shaking.

damn. this is it.

kat held the door for me and no sooner was i on the other side did she put her hand out and congratulate me.

HOLY SHIT I PASSED THIS THING. i'm on my way to get my phd in science.

partial disbelief and partial relief were mixed in with a plethora of other emotions.

they gave me a few course recommendations that would relate to my research area - namely stats which i had told them i wanted more of and conservation bio which i've always wanted to take. they commended me on my effort and off i went.

i couldn't believe it.

over. months of work and it's all behind me now.

i always knew that the phd process was intense - but never realized the intensity extent. and knowing that the candidacy is the big deal in ecology is comforting. now i know i can do this. i'm on my way to be a teacher. before i know it, it could just become a reality.

damn.

tears

around 2:15 my phone rang. i was at work thinking about the people in my study group taking the oral defense today - part 2/2 of the candidacy at the end of which you find out if you passed.

i answered it as i was sure it was good news - passed!

the response was less than cheerful and i soon realized tearful.

i went out to meet my friend to console - and we talked and talked until the waters had calmed a bit - all the while thinking...

oh crap. this could be me tomorrow.

we'll see how it goes. the eco candidacy exam is definitely no joke.
wish me luck. sounds like i'll need it.

chill

this morning i woke up with one goal in mind -

BIKE RIDE.

it's been a while. too long in fact. and i haven't wanted to risk getting sick so - i've waited and waited for a dry sunny day. the temperature was hovering around freezing as i pulled on layer - after layer. lined tights, thermal top, warm jersey, jacket, gloves booties... etc etc.

cold aside, it takes an additional 15 minutes just to get dressed before a ride in this weather!

the grass was a frosty pale green when i left my house - rockhopper in the back. rear view mirrors still frozen, but my ass was nice and toasty thanks to the subaru COLD WEATHER PACKAGE - heated seats are a must have!

yea i am spoiled and i enjoy it. deal.

i hit the forest and realized i was early. one never wants to be early when it means waiting in the cold for 10 minutes! so i pulled on the rest of my gear - and did loops around the parking lot until the other ladies arrived. through the trees from the lot, i saw two cyclists making their way up bear meadows road. after a year or running into mr roman in the forest i can recognize him from a mile away! eric and jordyn swung by to say hello and then we went our way and they theirs.

The ride was SLOW. first in over a month! while the climbs were great as my body pumped blood throughout keeping sensitive toes and fingers warm, the descents were brutal resulting in tingles of burn in my finger tips, toes and face...

my favorite part - the last climb up gettis. i love this climb as it has it all... rocks, wide enough area to pick a line, more rocks, switch backs and today, snow - yes snow! we were high enough to see it and it was beautiful! i'm used to tackling this on the cross bike so it was a refreshing change to be able to muscle over rocks without thinking too much about my ideal line.

we ran into sparky at the top on his single speed coast brake setup. it has a purple chain and bright green velocity rims (among other cool parts). i'm jealous.

a brisk descent down north meadows. by the time i made it to the bottom i was officially frozen - and apparently partially delirious.

i decided to see whether or not my bike could push its way through the gate at bear meadows road. my mind said "go around", but my frozen body said "no, you don't need to be that far away from the gate post."

handle bar made contact with the gate post and down i went - almost. a last minute grab of the gate saved my ass from completely planting on the rocks to my left.

now that's grace under pressure.
a ride to remember and many more cold ones to come. there is just something about winter.... that i think i love. or maybe it's just winter in the forest on my bike.

yea probably the latter.

tired

today was long. i woke up a little before 5am to drive to allentown to give a workshop on soils data with my boss. phew... wake up early, drive 3 hours (well ride) spend 6+ hours talking "shop" about soils then ride home another 3 hours... see how you feel at the end of the day.

a quick snack when i got home and off to the gym i went. sitting and talking for that long leaves a lot of pent up energy that can only be exerted at the gym.

i'm gearing up for part ii of the candidacy... dont wanna risk bombing so i'm playing it safe with the weather and not riding in the snow / rain or going out - much.

i miss my bike - commuting doesn't do it for me. i can't believe the end is here. and with it comes my life - back as it was... the gym, riding, hiking, going out...

and thanksgiving is just around the corner... spring and longer days will be here in no time... and back on the bike i go...

p i DONE

as the hour approached i became increasingly queezy. luckily i had a 3 hour conference session to partake in 9-noon before my 4 hour exam. the talk went well. it ended up being 50 minutes! i didn't realize i had so much to say about soil data.

i graciously took my custom embossed flashlight - complements of the PA Tax Assessors Association (woo hoo!), cranked up some tunes and mosied over to kern to eat and study. unfortunately, my stomach was not interested in food, although my mind knew that i wouldn't make it through 4 hours without it.

i arrived at the room early. and paced a bit outside in the sun before going on. computer setup, questions delivered...

a quick scan revealed MANY MANY FAMILIAR topics.

thank goodness. there is hope.

I started to type... at first the words were garbled, incoherent, and of poor sentence structure... but as time soothed the nerves it came easier... and easier...

i actually think i wrote too much.

about 2.5 hours into the session i realized i was getting HUNGRY, and tired. The m&ms that i had brought as a treat for lunch were calling me from my timbuk2 bag...

but i contemplated the repercussions of:
...wrestling with my bag, making a ton of noise looking for them, and
the exam proctor walking in at that precise moment with me digging through my bag...

hunger and fatigue can wait. it was just me and my water.

i finished early. so i reviewed my answers... and then again... and again... and then i sat and starred - waiting for 5:00 to hit so we could end this thing once and for all.

in short - it's OVER. what a relief. the oral comes next... but how bad can one hour be compared to four???

before the storm

it's the calm before the storm.

all day my heart has been racing. weird - almost as if i was preparing in anticipation for some huge swim meet. ive trained, i've tapered - kinda... and the event has come.

i don't know why it's such a big deal. but it is.

i want to do well. i want to prove to myself that i can succeed in science.

this week has been filled with pep talks from friends and colleagues. reviewing... and work.

and now the calm before the storm. i know i'll be nervous at lunch tomorrow - contemplating the 1pm start. and i know i'll be brain dead and relieved at the 5pm finish.

i'm excited because i'm ready to be done.
i'm excited because i feel as if i've gained a whole new grasp on this field which i've come to love so much.
i'm excited because i've learned SO DAMN much about things i've always wanted to understand but never taken the time to investigate.
and i'm excited because if i get through this - it's one step closer to what i really want to do with my life....

when i grow up.
one last review of things and i'm going to bed - EARLY.

armstrong + olson = wtf????

from luna - hard to believe.

anticipation

it's unreal that after all of the months... d-day... well c-day is less than 48 hours away.

ive reviewed it all. i've read and highlighted entire text books. i've written, and studied, and focused... and now it's here.

i know if i fail that this discipline is not in my cards. and if i pass that it's so incredibly interesting that i know i'll never give it up.

i'm ansy but not stressed. i feel like i've prepared and dont feel i could have done much more given the time allotted and my background in the field. i'm ready to get all of this knowledge out of my head, onto paper. and to put all of the books away - even if just for the weekend.

the best part is last minute, i also was asked to give a talk in a 3 hour professional conference session on campus friday. nothing like a little excitement to get the day rolling!!! 8:30 am reporting time - 9am talk till noon (i'm one of three speakers)... 1pm exam.

YES!

atleast i don't feel the need to cram - so i can study and prepare for my talk tomorrow...
Friday is the day.
Friday night is the night - time to let lose - atleast temporarily as friday marks part 1 or 2.

that's all i have to say about that. back to the books...

packers

this is why i love the packers.

beautiful!

and to think he almost retired.

a thousand words

enjoy the view.
up we go.

and back down - and back up.

challenge: how stinky can we get?


















H. virginiana in bloom - genus: spectacular spp.








at the top p ii - the second ridge we traversed on this fine day.











picturesque.











the beautiful- weighted clouds in full form.









the descent. water's returned.
the forest... and the end - for now.

up yours

yesterday pam and i decided to take the dogs hiking. being a football game weekend, we decided to start at Shingletown Gap to avoid the 322 football exodus madness.

the expectation was a quiet walk in the woods - with few people in sight. the reality was way more people that expected.

Not too far up the trail two huskies come flying at us trailed by a couple. pam had her dog on leash and tried to keep her away from the dogs as she doesn't always get along with dogs on leash. chaya was right by my side. the dog starts with aidia and then moves on to poor chaya...

snarl!

i hear it - and yell "woah, back off". the owner tries to grab the dog, chaya squeals and tries to hide behind pam.

the man reprimands his dog and the couple attempts to round them up. pam tells them

"you know you guys really should have better control of your dogs if they're going to be off leash"
and all i heard was a chipmunk version "fuck off".

no she didn't.

she did. the woman told us to fuck off.

"um lady, your dog bit my dog"
"dogs play" she retorted. since shingletown gap is Obviously a dog park!

i generally avoid confrontation but - you don't mess with my dog. call it maternal instinct. i lost my cool. out of my mouth came every 4 letter insult that i could put together.

productive.

i thought about following them... but i knew that would be in vain.

in the end, they went their way, we went ours.
i was irritated - and still am. not only had my dog been put in a compromising position, but also, i had lost my cool and stooped to her level. a woman who obviously doesn't know what hiking in the woods really is. and who certainly has no respect for or knowledge about dogs and people's personal space!

this is people suck post #xxxiii... to be continued