before the storm

it's the calm before the storm.

all day my heart has been racing. weird - almost as if i was preparing in anticipation for some huge swim meet. ive trained, i've tapered - kinda... and the event has come.

i don't know why it's such a big deal. but it is.

i want to do well. i want to prove to myself that i can succeed in science.

this week has been filled with pep talks from friends and colleagues. reviewing... and work.

and now the calm before the storm. i know i'll be nervous at lunch tomorrow - contemplating the 1pm start. and i know i'll be brain dead and relieved at the 5pm finish.

i'm excited because i'm ready to be done.
i'm excited because i feel as if i've gained a whole new grasp on this field which i've come to love so much.
i'm excited because i've learned SO DAMN much about things i've always wanted to understand but never taken the time to investigate.
and i'm excited because if i get through this - it's one step closer to what i really want to do with my life....

when i grow up.
one last review of things and i'm going to bed - EARLY.