mars & venus

if u haven't ever read the book men are from mars... women are from venus... then you should and if you have read the book... then you'll be with me in this post ...

there is a chapter in the book that articulates the inherent conflict resulting from the differences in how men and women deal with issues... not just relationship issues... but yeah...mostly relationship issues.

the immediate, instinctual and perhaps primal response to a difficult situation with a significant other for the man is the allegorical cave. he holes up, walks away, closes up and needs "space". not forever type of space (well not normally).. just some quiet down time of some particular, undetermined length to sort out his thoughts. regardless of the outcome he needs to think.

then comes the women... her instinctual response is to "talk things out". she needs to know - right then and there as she's emotional, upset and she looks to him for solace. this in turns pushes said man further into his cave (i suspect he has a headlamp as how can one see down there?).

while i'm not one to stereotype i think that there is some truth to this particular chapter.

the woman wants to mediate, repair, sooth, taaalllkkk and the man needs to step away and contemplate. we're not sure what exactly he's contemplating during this time... his golf game, who won stage ...of the giro, etc. but we do know he needs the time to step back, cool down and regroup.

if we - the female species - know this, then why is it so difficult to let the man go do his thing in peace?? after all, some space can be ok and sometimes communication via level headed thoughts is better than a long, drawn out emotional conversation where tensions run high and deep.

then again, perhaps the woman is afraid the man will hole up and never see the light of day again.

so the moral of this story is as follows.
ladies: if the man says he needs space - let him go and hope he comes back in one piece. buggin the hell out of him - no matter how good your intentions are - typically makes things worse. yes it's hard... but we've gotta do it for the sake of man kind if we are ever to live harmoniously as a unit.

men: reassure your lady and let her know that you'll be back so she doesn't worry to much... and then look for the light - try for the sake of womankind. the sooner the better, let her know what's up... we promise you won't get burned - atleast not too bad where it won't just peel off a bit revealing newer, fresher skin.

the end.